Ways I am submissive and Ways I can do better

Ways I am submissive to him:

(This list is not all inclusive)

-asking his permission to use my phone while we are relaxing in bed

-when he comes home, stopping whatever I’m doing to greet him at the door

-making him coffee, snacks etc

-massaging his feet or entire body

-ensuring I wear scented body lotion and his perfume because he likes me to smell nice at all times

-following his rule to always be prepared for him by keeping myself clean down there. Also, keeping it bare the way he likes it.

-keeping his house clean and tidy

-praising him often

-adhering to my weekly allowance. Asking permission if I have to go over

-listening to him when he talks about things that are important to him and showing an interest (ie/ knowing when his football team is playing next, even though I have no interest in football)

-if I haven’t heard from him in awhile, checking in to see if he needs anything

-always referring to him as “Sayyid” or “my Love”

-when he is lecturing me, looking down because he says my eyes make it too easy for him to give in

-thanking him for spanking me, disciplining me, giving me orgasms, etc

Ways I can do better:

-keeping up on news of the Middle East so that when he talks about it, I can contribute to the conversation

-stop overthinking!

-remembering to ask his permission for various things that I know I should be asking it for

-stop overthinking!

-stop questioning his actions or his lack of actions. Accepting what he has to give me without making him feel guilty for not giving me more.

-when I get passionate about a topic he doesn’t agree with, keeping my voice lower than his

-stop overthinking!

-learning to express my negative feelings more submissively, while striving not to have negative feelings (ie/ anger, resentment, etc)

-anticipating his needs more

-stop overthinking!

-keeping my car cleaner because it is the family vehicle and it reflects poorly on him if someone sees that it is dirty or messy inside



22 thoughts on “Ways I am submissive and Ways I can do better

  1. Oh this is a goodie!: “learning to express my negative feelings more submissively, while striving not to have negative feelings (ie/ anger, resentment, etc)”

    Has Sayyid offered suggestions as to how he would like you to do this?

    Have you found ways that works well?

    I need to do this too! *takes out notebook and pen and is ready to take notes*

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Well sweet M I’m not very good at this, which is why it’s on my “ways to be better” list lol

      But Sayyid has suggested before that when I’m having negative feelings, before I approach him to talk I should journal my feelings. This helps because I’m able to vent before I talk to him, and sometimes after I journal I don’t even have the negative feelings anymore! I really need to get back to doing this.

      Above all, Sayyid tells me not to keep negative feelings inside (this leads to spiralling, which leads to depression, which leads to a loss of my submission). He especially dislikes having to ask me what’s wrong and becomes upset at me when I answer “nothing” or “I’m fine”. Those answers may result in discipline. But more importantly, I know they bother him very much as they remind him of the wife I was “before” so I try to answer honestly but it’s really hard when those negative feelings are a result of being upset at him, or disappointed in him.

      What do you do M?

      Liked by 3 people

      1. I do those too!

        And also Daddy likes me to have physical contact with him when I’m upset because it mellows the distress that we both feel and reminds us that we do love each other. (This is especially when we argue)

        Other ways that work for me is when I’m angry/scared/sad and bring those raw feelings to Dd is to kneel while expressing these to him.

        Also, on a somewhat related note, when I have negative feelings, Daddy orders me to cum (like just on verbal command) and/or he orders me to breathe in and out slowly and/or he orders me to comfort cue and/or say one/more of my many mantras that he has given me.

        P.S. It’s hard to stay mad when ordered to cum on command.

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Physical contact is very important with HD and I too. The one major issue we had (it was baaaaaaaad and I was quite upset) was resolved faster and easier because we snuggled up to each other while working through it.
          Sometimes HD will order me to play and orgasm if I’m freaking out over something. When I was arguing with my sister, when I was getting ripped at work for things that weren’t my fault, etc. Best and easiest way to balancing my emotions is through a good orgasm, so that’s what he does. We haven’t gotten to training to orgasm on command yet though. That’s intriguing!

          Liked by 2 people

      2. “He especially dislikes having to ask me what’s wrong and becomes upset at me when I answer “nothing” or “I’m fine”.

        This!! i struggle with this. i love your idea of venting about it first in writing before approaching him about it. i feel like it probably helps organize your thoughts too, so its easier to understand. Great job being aware of your strengths and weaknesses, and for finding practical solutions to help you meet new goals!

        Liked by 1 person

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