Things are progressing well with the babygirl. She has a strong personality. With her husband being away a lot she has to be in control and manage three small children on her own. This is why she enjoys her little and kitten space so much and the nurturing mentor role of a Mommy. To escape and to feel supported. I get it. I’m the same way.
Since she got a mommy, her husband has decided to step up and be Daddy again. It’s been on and off for them. So the Daddy and I talk. I provide suggestions (that’s funny isn’t it! I find that hilarious because half the time I don’t know what I’m doing!) and he carries out punishments for me. Like spanking her when she’s been a bad girl for Mommy.
No real update on sayyid and I. Things are still stalled. Tried a scene the other day. It failed. My fault. Once it went off kilter a bit I couldn’t seem to pull myself back on track. Depression I guess because he was into it. He loves being dominated in bed. Feeds into his passive (lazy?) nature. I know that sounds harsh but it’s the truth.
He is still not sure what he wants outside the bedroom. Crystal clear on what he wants inside. He said again today he will do whatever to make me happy, including submit 24/7. I explained, again, that I can’t accept that unless he can admit that sort of dominance turns him on. He again referenced the bedroom. I get it, I get it! You like being dominated in bed!
Sayyid is now encouraging me to find a local subgirl or babygirl. He has recognized that I have this need in me. He witnesses the change when I’m dominating others online and feels I will be happiest with someone alive and in person.
I admit the idea both excites and terrifies me. Online is one thing. In person? How will I be? Will it be a flop and end up embarrassing myself? Will she think (know) I don’t have a clue what I’m doing?
I’ve made some local connections in person. That was scary but my sister came with me. (Side note: I am corrupting her. She purchased her first wooden paddle and woke with bruises on her bum the next day. Her and her partner loved the experience!) I met a few Dommes, Doms, subs, and general kinksters. I felt welcomed and everyone was so incredibly encouraging and accepting. They have invited me to the munch this month and a Domme and her husband want to meet for coffee beforehand so I feel more comfortable walking into the place knowing someone.
Perhaps I will meet someone there or through those connections made? Either that or post an ad on fetlife. That’s generally how it’s done, isn’t it? LOL This is all new territory for me! I want to take it slow. No rushing or making impulsive decisions.
It’s weird though. I feel two worlds are colliding or enmeshimg. My online one and the real world. Things are changing. Change is scary but exciting.